Homeless

Our Basic Right

Can't meet with my pals, my old local is no more.

Can't chill in my gaf I live at home even though I'm thirty four,

My best friend and her two kids put up decorations this week,

Christmas lights in the hotel room window, now that’s pretty bleak,

Her kids are queuing for hot meals and writing homework at a coffee shop,

The lights wont go on at home, the pressure is mounting,  it wont ever stop,

Michael's saving for a house hes working to the bone,

On his own it will take 15 years to afford his first home,

Weve lost a sense of purpose, in society we no longer have a place,

Our mental health is in danger and may  always be the case,

We’re a nation underpaid and overcharged,  independence is our right,

Were angry and frustrated and were going to start a fight,

The people that  sleep alone on the streets dark and cold,

They could soon be joined by many more young and old 

Politicians listen , were in an emergency you’re people need you,

Irish people are losing hope and you have a  job to do,

Be a government of the people, do it now.

If you dont take action, we will and we will show you how.

                Julie Callery

The Tougher years are the better years. Coping with Crohns and now Fibromyalgia

This time last year I was broken mentally. Right before my son turned one. I had spent so much time trapped in a dark mind.  Out of nowhere I had suddenly hit rock bottom  and my self worth was reduced to nothing.  Somehow, I pulled myself through after months of self care, exercise, mindfulness, and meditation and an excellent career opportunity. I really changed my whole life around. Even did the transformation hairstyle to go with my new life.


 Then just  as luck was going my way  my body physically broke down. Medication stopped working, i was facing a second auto immune disease. I was in and out of doctors and specialist appointments not knowing if I could work again, drive again and complete normal daily routine tasks without large amounts of pain. It was terrifying. All I had for a while was my mind. I thought to myself well lucky me my strongest asset is still there. My mental health. Time and time again family members and friends ( blessed to have amazing people around me ) would ask..  “hows your mental health with all that’s going on.”I would happily say it’s actually ok. Instead of the usual irishism of “oh yeah I’m grand" when really that’s further from the truth.
Heres how I got through it .



1) I was allowed the time to appreciate what I do have - a very healthy happy son.
I now have two autoimmune diseases but Its not terminal, I have a roof over my head and a food in the press.  Supportive friends and family.
Be grateful and not resentful.
2) Take time to practice daily mindfulness – for me this is reciting in my mind the points pointed out in number one. When you do this daily you can find hundreds of things to be grateful for.
3) Gave myself goals. Today I’ll drive to my own doctors appointment. Next week I’ll drive 30mins  to collect my son, the week after ill drive every other day. Sometimes I achieved my goals and other days The pain was so bad I couldn’t move.
4) Adjust my exercise- gentle walks even if it’s for five minutes a day. Yoga again even if it’s only for ten minutes. Still not back in the gym but baby steps
5) Listen to your body, if it hurts then stop, similarly listen to your mind  if you’re going to a dark place do something that makes you happy, for me having ice cream with my son or getting out in nature was free brain rewards that oozed out all the serotonin.
6) Alternative medicines – CBD oil has changed my life.
7) Finally acceptance – I’ll get unwell again l, bad things will happen to me and those I love. I cant change any of that all I can do is change the way that makes me feel.


Along with working with different medical teams we’ve gotten the go ahead to go back to work in the coming weeks. Im driving more

and I’ve started swimming with my son. I keep practicing all my mindfulness and meditation. I still have bad days and negative emotions all the time but now I respond to them . I’m still on the mend physically and will always be on the mend mentally. My toughest year ( so far ) has been overall my best year.


 

Reseructing my old blog for your entertainment and my own boredom.       

I genuinely forgot i started this blog years ago. People probably dont even read these things anymore. I mean if it takes more than 15 seconds to read than likely youre gonna say nahhhh im bored. Can i put a boomerang in here ? So here we go out of boredom and for your entertainment purposes here are  a list of patients you dont want to be beside on your ward. Taken from real life experience over the past ten years and the past 30 hours sitting here.

Youre probably wondering why the unicorn I obviously screenshot from google images?
It will make sense soon.

1) The Snorer

Self explanatory really, pretty sure theres at least one or two on every ward and if youve been on a ward and you dont know who it is then its probably you.

2) The curtain hogger/opener

I shit you not. 15 minutes ago my next door neighbour rudely  just whisked the whole curtain for his side. Like did he want the whole ward to see my unicorn knickers.?? Its not like he didnt notice either and theres enough curtain to cover us both.

3) The one with the law degree

This is the person who doesnt have a law degree and knows his/her rights and will threaten to sue the nurse staff. The same nurse who probably spent the night shift going to your buzzer, wiping your arse, keeping you alive while over worked and understaffed. But you go ahead and sue the poor nurse because your surgery was pushed back two hours. 

4) The one with the medical degree

Similar to the above person, not actually qualified but thinks that they are. Like if you want to challenge the doctor on something, fine go ahead. But the whole ward doesnt need to hear that you think you have a haemorid and they should check again because the first search wasnt through enough. I do not need to hear this 4 cubicles away.

5) The one who speaks loudly on the phone and has the phone on speaker at the same time

Its nearly 10pm. Why are you shouting, take the phone off speaker for one, secondly youre not even a patient so feck off home. Its way past visiting times ( yes this is still the curtain neighbour ) 

6) The visitor with a clown car family

You know the person that seems to have 18 people visit at the one time and ive no idea where they all fit. They also sneakily have my chair all of a sudden. Like hey... my bag sits there you inconsiderate tit. 

7) The " I have health insurance" person.

Like i just cant. Dont. Even. Get. Me. Going.

8) The cougher that doesnt cover their mouth like ever.

Thats fine, we are all here on this ward because weve super strong immune systems and we dont need you to be hygienic. 

You can’t win a charity race

First and foremost sorry for taking so long to update my blog! I honestly forget that I have one. ANYWAYS its a New year so It is a new ME. I vow to be an active blogger. This entry is for Tyler who is always supportive.

In June of last year I took part in a charity walk called the heel and wheelathon. You can walk, run, cycle, rollerblade or hop with an eye patch if you want to. It is all for charity. A brilliant cause I may add as it is for Crohns, IBD and Collitis. When I first heard about it I was so excited and determined to train really hard and achieve a 5k jog. Tyler who is athletic and runs regularly was eager to get me involved. I also got advice from his sister who is an avid runner.

Not going to lie, I was pretty enthusiastic at first; I even quite enjoyed getting fit and getting some fresh air.  Not being mellow dramatic or anything ( ok maybe a little ) but honestly sometimes i would rather curl up into a ball and die than start exercising again.  But I was glad that I started and excited to get out from under the covers. Little fact - You know that if you train you can actually run to the end of the road and still have your lung intact. Now that’s a fact. See look I am getting poetic now.

Unfortunately 2 things happened that got in the way. One was my Crohns flare ups (JUST TYPICAL) I mean how selfish can my Crohns disease be. I am training to raise money to cure the damn thing and it will not let me. I think my disease is pretty comfy in my body and does not want to go anywhere. Also I do not think my body grasped which type of running I was aiming for. However, Tyler continued to train without me as one of us had to make an effort. Second issue was that it was my first Canadian summer. One of the hottest summers on record. Now as an Irish person I only have two mind frames. Either it rained too much today, or it didn’t rain enough. Irish people do not have tans, we just simply rust. The sun is an Irish mans kryptonite. Attempting to train in that heat was like asking the Simpsons not to be yellow. Its impossible ( see I said I wasn’t mellow dramatic) I never knew Canada could get so Hot. You could cook an egg on the tar pavement. (I saw it with my very own eyes )

So race day came around and I had little or no training. I had woken up with a twinge in my stomach and prayed that there would be no flare ups that day. Luckily it held off. Although to my relief it didn’t seem like it was very competitive. In fact it was quite the opposite. People had buggies (strollers for those across the pond) some people were in jeans and people were eating before the race. So you could pretty much tell that it was more of picnic party and at some point we would do a little walk.

When the race eventually started there was a speech from an 11 year old girl who had suffered with Crohns disease since she was eight years old. She had quite an aggressive form and spent over 6 months in hospital. She was pretty much the centre of the whole event and an inspiration. She had raised over 12 thousand dollars! Naturally she was chosen to cut the ribbon and lead the walk. As she cut the ribbon Tyler was like ok let’s go. Now everyone was walking and chatty and there was no one running as the girl was leading. That didn’t bother Tyler because he wanted to WIN. I asked him to wait a few minutes and let the really sick child who raised all this money at least have her moment. So he waited begrudgingly. After a minute or two the little girl decided to jog a little, after that there was no stopping him. We were off and ran straight past the girl who couldn’t really hold a pace.

I understand that when you are ill and unable to really move too quickly so i felt bad and asked if we could slow down. Nope it wasn’t happening. You could hear the little girl’s heart break as we went by. Tyler was over the moon because we were winning. I even noticed that even though we were running side by side Tyler seemed to be about two steps ahead of me. He was even competing with me! We were keeping a nice steady pace when some kids on bicycles were gaining on us.  He left my side (which was technically a step ahead) in order to challenge a kid on a bike to the end of the race. He had sprinted pretty fast ad beat the kid. Tyler outran two kids in one day and he was pretty chuffed. Also the race did not end at the original finish line. It was supposed to but everyone just walked back to the picnic area where the food was being cooked. Technically Tyler was the only one who finished. So he won and was the only successful one to complete it. I guess it’s all for Charity.

Enthusiasm is always needed around sick people and there was no one there as enthusiastic as Tyler, even if it was about the winning.

DO.YOU.NEED.TO.USE.THE.TOILET?

Back in September of 2008 I had decided to enter the Erasmus world and live and study in Germany. Little did I know that it was the best decision I had ever made. Throughout my later teenage years I was suffering with stomach pains, fatigue, passing out in dangerous places and all that other nasty stuff us crohnies have to face. Not one doctor over the space of three years could figure out what on earth was wrong. After two weeks in a German hospital and after a thorough and I mean thorough investigation of my entire insides they were able to pinpoint what was wrong. October 2008 was officially the birthday of my Crohns disease born in Bamberg Krankenhaus Germany. If you ever find yourself in Germany with a gastro problem, here are some phrases you should become farmiliar with.

Windel - Nappy

Going to live in a foreign country when your grasp of the language is rough around the edges is quite daunting. Going there and being omitted to a hospital where no one can speak English is hilarious. You expected me to say terrifying, well it was side splitting. The language barrier was frustrating but it was also comical. I found myself agreeing to things in which I had no interest. If you agree to an Erwachsene Windel do expect nappies (diapers for those across the pond) to arrive at the end of your bed. Erwachsen translates to adult, and Windel translates to nappy. Now what I thought the nurse said was Dirndl and not Windel, which is a traditional Bavarian dress worn at Oktoberfest. As it was October and Oktoberfest was on the T.V. in the background I thought the nurse was making polite conversation. So what I thought I heard was “Do you like adult dirndls” I replied “Yes I would love to wear one when I finally get out of here, and bring one back to Ireland as a souvenir” Now these adult nappies are not like a larger version of what a baby wears. They were more like something you place in your underwear. In my mind I was thinking, wow those are enormous sanitary pads, but how kind of her to place some at the end of my bed. Not only were a bunch left at the end of my bed, when I left the nurse asked since I didn’t use them if I would I like to bring them home. She also wished me a safe trip back to Ireland. I was very confused. I never mentioned going home to Ireland. I swear it took me about 6 months to figure that one out. 

Grüß Gott – God be with you ( a Bavarian greeting )

                I was lucky enough to have a handsome young doctor. He insisted that I use the informal du rather than the formal Sie. In the German language there is an informal and formal way to say the word you. He was quite friendly and would greet me in English and by my first name and everything was generally informal. However the woman next to me was older as was her doctor. They would speak to each other formally. Her doctor would also address her by her name which I thought was unusual Gringsgot. ( sound like something from Harry Potter) After a couple of days in the room with this woman a man came into me and said Hallo Gringsgot. I looked at him blankly turned to Gringsgot and noticed that she was asleep. I turned back around and said Gringsgot is asleep in the next bed. He was confused and said I am the director for Erasmus students and I am looking for Ms. Callery. I suddenly had a flashback to 1^st year German class. The woman was not called Gringsgot she was simply greeted with Grüß Gott by her formal doctor. So in English I had basically said god be with you is asleep in the bed next to me. I am not God be with you, that woman over there is. I had also been calling the woman God be with you for several days.

Klo- Toilet

                 There was never a misunderstanding as to what the word Klo meant. Especially since the nurse was excellent at expressing what she meant. One of the nurses felt that she needed to act out everything she was saying to me. She would not only act it out, but she would yell really loudly and very slowly. DO. YOU. NEED.TO.USE.THE.TOILET. while making a squatting position. I wish she understood just because I was foreign did not mean that I was deaf or stupid.

Although it was difficult I cannot fault the german hospital system. I have them to thank for discovering my disease and unintentionally providing me with comic relief through my difficult time.

We ran out of toilet paper again?

Fellow Crohnies or those of you who are in the vicinity of those who have it are aware that it is necessary to lighten the load from time to time. (Pun intended) I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease in October of 2008 and am learning that the best medicine is laughter. The only other alternative is to be embarrassed by this pain in the arse disease. (Literally) So you have two options laugh or be embarrassed. That is one of the choices crohnies are more fortunate enough to have. Compared to the other wonderful decisions a crohnie can be faced with - Do I run out of this very important presentation that holds my final grade or do I stand near a window and hope for the best? Do I use the Men’s or skip the Women’s line and explain why I am skipping? Do I tell the McDonalds staff member they need to call a plumber or do I walk away? Do I miss the trip or go and have a crappy time. (That is three puns already but sorry it cannot be helped) So when it comes to choosing between laughter and embarrassment I choose laughter all the time.

“Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation deermines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” 

Fortunately I have a family who already find two things funny. Number 1 is toxic gases and number 2 is the Number 2. They say Crohns disease is a genetic trait and with the high level of flatulence at family get togethers, I sometimes wonder if I am not the only one. In fact not releasing some gas would raise questions as to whether you are even related.

My boyfriend Tyler with whom I moved in last year also eventually saw the funny side of things after he got over the colossal amount of toilet paper I went through. Although we shared the shopping bill, he ate most of the food and I consumed most of the toilet paper. As he is Canadian when an Irish girl with Crohns moved in he found himself buying two things more often than he ever expected, one was potatoes and the other was toilet paper. “We ran out of toilet paper again” was a common thing for him to say. “You ate all the ice cream” was a common response. He also learned that sometimes it is best not to ask questions.  Why do you have extra underwear in your purse? In case I stay at someone’s place and do not have time to go home would be my default response. Where would you stay over when you live with me, your boyfriend? So apparently if your girlfriend carries extra underwear in her purse there are only 2 explanations. She is seeing someone else or she has Crohns Disease. Finding one man to put up with a crohnie is difficult enough, two would be an absolute miracle. Also when I say we need to leave with urgency in my voice, few questions are asked.

                So this is a little introduction to a funny side of Crohns. My stories will vary from embarrassing language barriers in Germany to emptying a Dunkin Donuts in Washington D.C. from dealing with Crohns on a long distance flight and a train station with no bathroom, from the after affects of laughing gas to awkward conversations when someone asks “What exactly is Crohns disease”

Enjoy and pass it on to anyone with, Crohns, Colitis, IBD or someone that just had a bad case of the runs that could really use a good laugh.