Reseructing my old blog for your entertainment and my own boredom.       

I genuinely forgot i started this blog years ago. People probably dont even read these things anymore. I mean if it takes more than 15 seconds to read than likely youre gonna say nahhhh im bored. Can i put a boomerang in here ? So here we go out of boredom and for your entertainment purposes here are  a list of patients you dont want to be beside on your ward. Taken from real life experience over the past ten years and the past 30 hours sitting here.

Youre probably wondering why the unicorn I obviously screenshot from google images?
It will make sense soon.

1) The Snorer

Self explanatory really, pretty sure theres at least one or two on every ward and if youve been on a ward and you dont know who it is then its probably you.

2) The curtain hogger/opener

I shit you not. 15 minutes ago my next door neighbour rudely  just whisked the whole curtain for his side. Like did he want the whole ward to see my unicorn knickers.?? Its not like he didnt notice either and theres enough curtain to cover us both.

3) The one with the law degree

This is the person who doesnt have a law degree and knows his/her rights and will threaten to sue the nurse staff. The same nurse who probably spent the night shift going to your buzzer, wiping your arse, keeping you alive while over worked and understaffed. But you go ahead and sue the poor nurse because your surgery was pushed back two hours. 

4) The one with the medical degree

Similar to the above person, not actually qualified but thinks that they are. Like if you want to challenge the doctor on something, fine go ahead. But the whole ward doesnt need to hear that you think you have a haemorid and they should check again because the first search wasnt through enough. I do not need to hear this 4 cubicles away.

5) The one who speaks loudly on the phone and has the phone on speaker at the same time

Its nearly 10pm. Why are you shouting, take the phone off speaker for one, secondly youre not even a patient so feck off home. Its way past visiting times ( yes this is still the curtain neighbour ) 

6) The visitor with a clown car family

You know the person that seems to have 18 people visit at the one time and ive no idea where they all fit. They also sneakily have my chair all of a sudden. Like hey... my bag sits there you inconsiderate tit. 

7) The " I have health insurance" person.

Like i just cant. Dont. Even. Get. Me. Going.

8) The cougher that doesnt cover their mouth like ever.

Thats fine, we are all here on this ward because weve super strong immune systems and we dont need you to be hygienic.