Back in September of 2008 I had decided to enter the Erasmus world and live and study in Germany. Little did I know that it was the best decision I had ever made. Throughout my later teenage years I was suffering with stomach pains, fatigue, passing out in dangerous places and all that other nasty stuff us crohnies have to face. Not one doctor over the space of three years could figure out what on earth was wrong. After two weeks in a German hospital and after a thorough and I mean thorough investigation of my entire insides they were able to pinpoint what was wrong. October 2008 was officially the birthday of my Crohns disease born in Bamberg Krankenhaus Germany. If you ever find yourself in Germany with a gastro problem, here are some phrases you should become farmiliar with.Windel - Nappy
Going to live in a foreign country when your grasp of the language is rough around the edges is quite daunting. Going there and being omitted to a hospital where no one can speak English is hilarious. You expected me to say terrifying, well it was side splitting. The language barrier was frustrating but it was also comical. I found myself agreeing to things in which I had no interest. If you agree to an Erwachsene Windel do expect nappies (diapers for those across the pond) to arrive at the end of your bed. Erwachsen translates to adult, and Windel translates to nappy. Now what I thought the nurse said was Dirndl and not Windel, which is a traditional Bavarian dress worn at Oktoberfest. As it was October and Oktoberfest was on the T.V. in the background I thought the nurse was making polite conversation. So what I thought I heard was “Do you like adult dirndls” I replied “Yes I would love to wear one when I finally get out of here, and bring one back to Ireland as a souvenir” Now these adult nappies are not like a larger version of what a baby wears. They were more like something you place in your underwear. In my mind I was thinking, wow those are enormous sanitary pads, but how kind of her to place some at the end of my bed. Not only were a bunch left at the end of my bed, when I left the nurse asked since I didn’t use them if I would I like to bring them home. She also wished me a safe trip back to Ireland. I was very confused. I never mentioned going home to Ireland. I swear it took me about 6 months to figure that one out. Grüß Gott – God be with you ( a Bavarian greeting )
I was lucky enough to have a handsome young doctor. He insisted that I use the informal du rather than the formal Sie. In the German language there is an informal and formal way to say the word you. He was quite friendly and would greet me in English and by my first name and everything was generally informal. However the woman next to me was older as was her doctor. They would speak to each other formally. Her doctor would also address her by her name which I thought was unusual Gringsgot. ( sound like something from Harry Potter) After a couple of days in the room with this woman a man came into me and said Hallo Gringsgot. I looked at him blankly turned to Gringsgot and noticed that she was asleep. I turned back around and said Gringsgot is asleep in the next bed. He was confused and said I am the director for Erasmus students and I am looking for Ms. Callery. I suddenly had a flashback to 1st year German class. The woman was not called Gringsgot she was simply greeted with Grüß Gott by her formal doctor. So in English I had basically said god be with you is asleep in the bed next to me. I am not God be with you, that woman over there is. I had also been calling the woman God be with you for several days.
Klo- Toilet
There was never a misunderstanding as to what the word Klo meant. Especially since the nurse was excellent at expressing what she meant. One of the nurses felt that she needed to act out everything she was saying to me. She would not only act it out, but she would yell really loudly and very slowly. DO. YOU. NEED.TO.USE.THE.TOILET. while making a squatting position. I wish she understood just because I was foreign did not mean that I was deaf or stupid.
Although it was difficult I cannot fault the german hospital system. I have them to thank for discovering my disease and unintentionally providing me with comic relief through my difficult time.
