Tuesday 27 September 2011

We ran out of toilet paper again?


Fellow Crohnies or those of you who are in the vicinity of those who have it are aware that it is necessary to lighten the load from time to time. (Pun intended) I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease in October of 2008 and am learning that the best medicine is laughter. The only other alternative is to be embarrassed by this pain in the arse disease. (Literally) So you have two options laugh or be embarrassed. That is one of the choices crohnies are more fortunate enough to have. Compared to the other wonderful decisions a crohnie can be faced with - Do I run out of this very important presentation that holds my final grade or do I stand near a window and hope for the best? Do I use the Men’s or skip the Women’s line and explain why I am skipping? Do I tell the McDonalds staff member they need to call a plumber or do I walk away? Do I miss the trip or go and have a crappy time. (That is three puns already but sorry it cannot be helped) So when it comes to choosing between laughter and embarrassment I choose laughter all the time.

Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation deermines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” 

Fortunately I have a family who already find two things funny. Number 1 is toxic gases and number 2 is the Number 2. They say Crohns disease is a genetic trait and with the high level of flatulence at family get togethers, I sometimes wonder if I am not the only one. In fact not releasing some gas would raise questions as to whether you are even related.

My boyfriend Tyler with whom I moved in last year also eventually saw the funny side of things after he got over the colossal amount of toilet paper I went through. Although we shared the shopping bill, he ate most of the food and I consumed most of the toilet paper. As he is Canadian when an Irish girl with Crohns moved in he found himself buying two things more often than he ever expected, one was potatoes and the other was toilet paper. “We ran out of toilet paper again” was a common thing for him to say. “You ate all the ice cream” was a common response. He also learned that sometimes it is best not to ask questions.  Why do you have extra underwear in your purse? In case I stay at someone’s place and do not have time to go home would be my default response. Where would you stay over when you live with me, your boyfriend? So apparently if your girlfriend carries extra underwear in her purse there are only 2 explanations. She is seeing someone else or she has Crohns Disease. Finding one man to put up with a crohnie is difficult enough, two would be an absolute miracle. Also when I say we need to leave with urgency in my voice, few questions are asked.

                So this is a little introduction to a funny side of Crohns. My stories will vary from embarrassing language barriers in Germany to emptying a Dunkin Donuts in Washington D.C. from dealing with Crohns on a long distance flight and a train station with no bathroom, from the after affects of laughing gas to awkward conversations when someone asks “What exactly is Crohns disease”

Enjoy and pass it on to anyone with, Crohns, Colitis, IBD or someone that just had a bad case of the runs that could really use a good laugh.